Entry 6

The city was so covered in fog that all Linh could see was grey. She was outside of the police station taking a quick breather. The office was suspiciously busy today. For some reason, all of the citizens were tense and many came in that day to report a suspicious figure they've seen in the night dressed in all black. The officers knew nothing about it prior and began investigating. Linh had been interviewing people all day. Her neck had a piercing pain and her lower back felt heavy, like a rock.
She began to daydream. Earlier, one of her coworkers told her the newspaper man had accidentally shipped out papers from six years ago, so Linh began to remember what it was like back then. That year, her sister had brought home her boyfriend for the first time, and Linh had just enrolled in the police academy. She sighed and leaned back on the brick wall. Back then, things were happy. She had young dreams, like having a husband or boyfriend and being a top officer, that she hoped would've come true by now, but sadly, they hadn't.

Just as Linh was about to go inside, disappointed in herself, she hurt a large banging sound. She turned around to find the hooded man, the one everyone had described, the one dressed in all black, walking down the sidewalk. She barely noticed him at first with all the fog, but once she looked closely, she knew it was him without a doubt. Linh was flustered. What do I do? she thought. Do I call another officer? But what if he gets away? The body was getting farther and farther away, and Linh began to sweat. Forget it, she said to herself. I'm going after him.

She began causally walking behind him. He didn't turn around, so she began to pick up the pace. She tried to look closer, but the fog made it impossible. Suddenly, he turned a corner into an alleyway that Linh was familiar with. It had a dead end. She panicked. What am I going to do? If I follow him, it'll be just us two and I know I'll get caught. She looked around. A dumpster laid directly across from the alley. Linh hated herself for coming up with the idea, but it was her duty as a cop. She climbed inside and peered through the crack. It was stinky and cold, but at least it was empty.

As she looked, she saw the mysterious man reading something. He stood there inspecting it for a few minutes before slamming it into the ground, mushing it under his shoe, and leaving. Linh climbed out to see where he went, but he vanished. She pouted. How could I miss such a vital opportunity? Then, she wondered what he could've been reading that made him so angry. She tiptoed in the same alley and picked it up. It was the newspaper. She read the front. The death of Ether Maitland?


1 comment:

  1. Linh
    Good sentence:
    The office was suspiciously busy today. - short, to the point, kind of funny
    She read the front. The death of Ether Maitland? ~ cliffhanger, short sentences lead the reader to become more excited with the ending
    Forget it, she said to herself. I'm going after him. -quickly progresses the story and plot, without garbling and confusing the reader
    She sighed and leaned back on the brick wall. - shows some character, good imagery
    Question about what you want to know:
    What is her position at the station, is she high ranking? How long has she been there?
    One thing you’re unclear about:
    Why is so so insecure in her ability to be a cop and approach the hooded figure? Its her job. (2x)
    Development suggestion:
    Give more information of the days details.
    What motivates Linh? Include some aspirations.

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